The Stupefying Morning

Staggering Girl

Life is about the interesting things that happened, and these interesting things that happened makes life worth living.

One of the interesting things of my life happened to me today. This staggering girl had a stupefying morning. Read on to enjoy…

As usual my day began at  5 AM. After prayer, unwillingly I wanted a nap for an hour. This unwillingness took me to more than an hour and when my mom woke me up at 8, I was hurried like anything.

I was for sure that I’m gonna be late but I wanted to give my mom a hand in kitchen. I made my way and got ready briskly. while My mom saying me oh late! oh late! looking at the wall clock, I managed to get out at 9:30. 

I rushed to the office and unusually strange I saw no bikes parked. I was startled for a moment but then I thought I’m a mess. When I entered into the office to my surprise it’s just 9 AM. 

I couldn’t control my laugh for being so hurriedly that I didn’t even peeped into my mobile or wrist watch to see the actual time. That naught wall clock made me like a rocket monkey to jump, hop and take over things to get to office desk on time. I even forgot to get my mobile phone to work.

This stands as a perfect example to title me “The Staggering Girl”.

Such stupefying,interesting things when looked back sprinkles the humor, sense of childishness that consoles my soul.

 

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Coping stress at work

Sometimes and Sometimes it happens that all of a sudden I’m haunted by numerous voices and thoughts that put me up into anxiety. From yesterday all of a sudden I have been experiencing stress. I couldnot able to follow up the report work left out by my collegue. She made it a pile of mixed logic and zip zag that I ended up saying No no to the work.  And infact I don’t like working on reports but I had to do it at any cost. So I kept working on it but by the day end I became sullen. Couldn’t talk good neither with mom nor daughter. All I had been thinking was why couldn’t I do it better and fast. Today I set the goal to get it done accurately and faster. I imbibed myself with full positivity and willingness to accomplish it.  I prayed the almighty to help me. 

When I reached office, I started working on it and was able to tackle the issues.  But still there was one issue hurdling me.  I started again to loose interest and focus but I retained it back and went ahead. I solved it all myself and I rejoiced. It was like unburdening myself with the unwanted stuff. 

I took a short time for myself to boost my inner self. 

I made this hand written lines that touches my soul and energizes me.  And for any one experiencing short term stress please try it out.

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All of a sudden sometimes, my brain gets struck. The negativity surrounds me and seems like nobody likes me.  This particularly happens in my workplace where people don’t like to communicate with me.  My work place is not that much amicable and happy place where I could feel very amazingly nourishing.  People here tend towards localization. Few of my fellowmates approach me for help and when it’s done they behave as if I’m none to them. These sort of unhealthy things embarrass me and put me into anxiety.  But no no to anxiety anymore, I’m out out and out of my anxiety and I’m preparing myself to be tough and independent at all times.  I know for most part of my life I’m going to be alone and so I feel quite OK now to be able to adapt if no one speaks to me.  

So now today at lunch I felt like I’m no more wanted to them and was feeling very bad but suddenly to my surprise, a great thought of positivism struck me and consoled me sweety I love you and you have to be happy for every single of a moment. I remembered last night my days where I have been put to torture by my husband and in law and where there was no meaning to live life.  I’m very thank full to my current situation and so I have to be happy always for every single second. 

Childhood Cycling Mania and the Boost for today

The mental image of me cycling the Hercules still revolves, reminding me how zealous I’m from the childhood. In 2004, I had been backed with a desire to cycle.  But my mom condemned it due to the narrowed society thoughts that surrounded her. But as a child, my thoughts were free, pure and instinct. 

Not being convinced by my mom’s decision, I approached my friends. One of my friend was little elder to me.  She took me to the cycle renting shop and got a cycle on rent for around 2 hours. This was the first time me riding a cycle.  Anyways that was a small cycle and I could probably managed to ride it.  But after certain period, my yearning to ride cycle again began. One day I took my Bhaiu’s cycle which was Hercules in blue. Initially I just caught cycle by handle and walked along with it. Next I tried with partial paddling. One day neighbor sisters helped me out on how to manage the balance and paddle it by sitting directly on seat. They supported me to make around three to four trips in my vicinity.  I was overjoyed on that night, since it gave me a boost that I can ride a cycle. 

From the next day, it all began.  I tried going on to the road side. It was summer time and one of my school crush visited my place to see me and he was overwhelmed to see me riding cycle.  Then there was much distinction between girls and boys things. Riding boys cycle was meant nothing wrong to me because as a child I was just determined to cycle no matter to whom ever it belongs to. 

Today, all of a sudden the cycling mania hit my mind and all those childhood cheer, freedom, innocence and memories became live.  It gave a great boost and energy and brought out the little girl hidden inside.  

As I recalled, I deliberately thought about the passion I had from the childhood.  The energy and the activeness to learn things, grow and blossom were deep rooted. I realized my potential and hope to extend them fully to see myself as the role model for all the girls who are unfortunate to have a unloving husband.

I’m way back to my home town warangal.  This time I’m planning to cycle and feel the joy.

My people and Me

Sometimes my people words, behavior and actions have a profound effect on me. I go into deliberate thinking on why they might have responded as such. My People don’t even pay a single thought before uttering such things as to what those words mean to me. They just utter and pass away, leaving me into a fully emotionally suffering state. And in most cases, it’s the kind, tender, gentle and pious people who suffer. For most of the time, I used to consider that they might have just said it out of anger but their heart and thoughts are free and pure. But now facing everyone and growing day by day, denying my negative thoughts, still I see they intentionally respond this way.

People have many faces and many dramas. They have intentions for every action and word they do and say. They are very good actors to steal the happiness and prosperity of me. Sometimes I feel, the people I thought mine, are now longer mine. Hence I should not even unload my thoughts burden with them. 

My words to my people:

You come to me as if you are my heart pain reliever, soother and consoler and what not and urges me to expel out the pain as if you gonna end it for all,
But the moment you leave I see, the pain and the trauma gets elevated still to a worse that I have to repent as to why I believed on you to expel out my pain.

You go and showcase my pain to all the world out there making it a mishmash and taking the pride in making me still melancholic.

To which land should I go or to which continent should I go or to which ocean should I go to share the burden of thoughts that are filled deep into my hearth and veins. Even then I go but do you follow me up to there still to listen to me and spread the rumors like you do every time? 

Even You follow me malevolently, I go still I go to the heights of my life, to the heights of my success, to the height of my happiness, to the heights of solace, to the heights of self discover ability, to the heights humanity and to the height of every thing that is good for every one and kick you off the height and see you fall repenting all over pain that you gave me all over the game.

Just be aware!! People ahead.

Estatic Day of my life

Yesterday was an Ecstatic day of my life. Filled with energy, enthusiasm, leaning towards learning, acclimatization. This is my second independence day celebration here in Pune. I’m filled with great patriotism and resolutions. Happy Independence Day to everyone. Sorry for being posting it today.

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In the morning, had a national flag hoisted in my residency. Next had a long outing to see the independence celebration in Pune. Went through kharadi, kalyani Nagar, Magarpatta, Hadapsar,Solapur Road, Fatima Nagar, Kondwa.

A delectable lunch at kondwa, and a visit to the societies in kondwa gave an amazing soul soothing feeling. It was almost 5 in the evening when we returned home. Soon after having hot-hot tea, we set for learning car driving. Dhole Patil school of Engineering road became a suitable and perfect spot for me to learn driving since it had numerous speed breakers which served as a good base to get a command onto the clutch and gear change. My Aeju is obviously my dad analogous to Amir Khan in dangal making me perfect in driving. He taught me moped riding with step by step process and guiding me to get a good command of balancing, weight management, and acceleration.

Now he is teaching me car driving through good command over the clutch. All along the driving practice, he has been instructing me to command over the clutch. His step by step instructions over to apply or not apply clutch, brake and gear change seemed like sending instructions to robot(Me).

At night around 8, we set to meet Aeju’s friend. Had some nice tea and snacks with his friends family, little fun talks and laughters. But shabba had been remembering me all long so mom had called me to get back home soon. We reached home, had a spicy bhajiyas. 

Overall it was a tremendous busy, living, greeting, energy filled, super excited, alluring, escstatic, learning and joyfull day.

My beloved Bro BirthDay

It’s Aeju’s birthday 2018 August,12.Yeaaaaa!!!. Bhabi has been counting down the days to celebrate Bhaiu’s birthday. And finally, the day had arrived. She reminded me in the morning to give Aeju a surprise. But I pretended to overlook her words.  She’s little stubborn so she again poked me.  Then I said let’s see it later.

As soon as bhaiu entered into the home in the night at 11, Shabba and I surprised him with an elated happy Birthday song, cake, and decoratives. I did it little early because Shabba was exhausted and was getting sleep. Even me too felt sleepy. It was a chic surprise for everyone especially for bhabi since she might have scorned me for ignoring her words.  


I titled cake as chai brother because Aeju drinks tea quite often that even Shabba has realized it 😂😃.

We celebrated with great joy and fun and Mom too felt quite happy. I bought the things while returning from office and kept them in my moped boot space. 

I and Shabba silently refrigerated it when bhabi and mom were having nap until aeju came home from the office.  I liked Shabba’s obedience that even after seeing cake she didn’t cry to have it.  I told her that we shall surprise aeju with cake so she said OK and followed the same tempo.

Sometimes she really behaves so obediently and sincere that I have to ponder on myself for me not being so sincere to my mom. 

Had a great day today. 

Yeepie!! enjoy the life.